| Part Four |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|08:25 am] |
After it was all said and done, and after I beared all the weight on my shoulders. I thought it would be best for me to go and take a walk outside. The day was nice and I really just needed to clear my head and think. My cell rang over and over again. I just let it ring through to the answering service as I sat at the lake and watched the ducks swim over the calm water. It was then I realized what it was I had to do. No matter what would happen, what the consequences bore for me, I had to tell Renee about what had happened.
I opened up my cell and called her up. She asked me how I was feeling and I had told her I went for a walk and I really needed to talk to her. So she agreed to come down to the lake where I was and talk there. I sat there for another 20 minutes thinking about what it was exactly that I was going to tell her. What it was that I was going to say, and if I was going to leave any of it out. "No..." ,I said, "Its either now or never, she has to know everything." And at that point she came in and looked at me.
"What do you mean I have to know everything?" She had that look on her face like a little 5 year old who had just lost a beloved pet. You know the look I'm talking about. I looked at the ground, drew my breath, and finally laid it all out on the line.
"Christine came by this afternoon, right after I came back from your place. And she suprized me. I didn't want any of this to happen, I swear it, you have to believe me!"
"Nick, what are you blabbering about?" I could feel the tears start to well in my eyes, I knew right then and there, I was going to hurt her by saying this, but there was no turning back. She knew I had something I had to say to her, so I might as well finish my thought.
"She pushed me on the bed, and we ended up..." I didn't even finish the sentence and saw in her eyes, her heart shatter into a million pieces. I dissapointed her, let her down. We sat there for 3 minutes of complete silence. It seemed to me like time was standing still and it kept playing over and over in my mind. How could I be so foolish? She truly loved me, and now I hurt her. She ended up leaving shortly after and I continued to sit there, looking at the lake and thinking about how I can get her back. I loved her, and come hell or high water, she was going to see that. |
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| Part Three |
[Apr. 5th, 2005|12:09 am] |
I woke the next morning and stepped out the door, but not before giving Renee a kiss goodbye. It was Friday and I had no classes, so I decided to head back to my dorm and just take a shower and chill in my room. So, I stopped at the UC and grabbed a smoothie and made my way to my room. I felt good after spending my time with Renee. I really could care less about that assignment we were given.
The shower was nice and refreshing. I stepped back in the room. "Good no roomate." I let the bathrobe fall to the floor and heard a whistle come from behind me. I quickly picked up the robe and turned around. It was my ex, Christine. I was suprized that she even bothered to come up and see me after what happened between us. "What are you fucking doing here Christine? But more importantly...how the FUCK did you get in?!" I was suprized she even showed her face anymore around me after what I went through.
"Yeah...your roomate let me in. And I came back for this..." Her hand slid down my side and gently ran a finger over a "delicate area".
"Woah woah woah! I'm not like that anymore. You know that. Besides, you left me..." I pushed myself away and threw on a pair of pants and boxers.
"So? You know you want this Nick, admit it. You miss this." She leaned in and kissed me softly. I gave her "the look"; but she didn't take to it, she persisted and persisted. I felt so bad, the only thing I could think about as this was all going on was Renee and the night before. How was I going to tell her? What would happen? I loved her so damn much, I just hoped that the truth would save me. |
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| Part Two |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|02:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hi | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
I left her place shortly after for class. In all honesty I just wanted to spend the rest of the day there and say forget my evening class. But I needed the grade, so I dragged myself over to Scott Hall and sat in class for 2 and a half hours, my mind just filled with thoughts about her, and not about anything the teacher was saying.
Time just seemed to drag on and on, but finally the class ended and I gathered all my books in a rush for the door. On my way out I ran into Bryan. He was a cool guy, guess you could say, if I had a twin in this world, he was it.
"Hey man whatcha up to?" I knew he was thinking about getting a poker game going for later that night so I had to think of a "creative" way to let him know that I was not going to be able to make it. So the first thing that popped into my head I said.
"Not tonight man, Kristoff loaded us with homework for the next class and I want to get cracking on it as soon as possible."
"Dude...one, that class is in another week, and two, you do homework? Come on man, I know you, something else is going down and I want to know what it is." I looked at my watch, 8:50. I wanted to be there before nine, so it was time to pull out the heavy artillery.
"Man, I don't know what I ate, but I don't feel so hot bro. I'm just going to head back and start on this assignment and get some shut eye and maybe it will pass." He gave me this goofy-ass look, but wished me the best as I sprinted for Renee's place.
I couldn't believe that I passed up poker for Renee, but I have my reasons. I first started taking a shine to her since we first met at the college. It was late September, and there was some absolutly horrific rainfall going on and of course the power went down. So I grabbed my coat and headed over to visit and make sure everything was ok. I showed up, drenched and cold, flashlight in hand to offer her any help she may need.
"You must be freezing! Here." She tossed me a bathrobe and a pair of slippers. "I'll step out while you change."
"Uhh....thanks." I couldn't help but feel slightly awkward sitting in her room completely nude, so I left the boxers on. No matter how soaked they were, I'm not going to let her see everything. I opened the door and assured her it was safe to come back in. We set the light on the floor and talked about anything of everything for the rest of the night.
I made it just in time and as soon as I walked in the door, you could tell she was expecting me. She had the movie on and was laying on the bed covered in blankets. I leaned down and gave her a soft kiss and cuddled up right next to her as we watched the movie, the power gave out. I let out a small groan. But she looked me dead in the eyes and said, "There's other things we can do besides watch a movie together." So we just laid there for the rest of the night, her in my arms and both of us just having that feeling of being loved and that nothing could go wrong. |
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| First Entry |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|07:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | fun | ] |
| [ | music |
| | It Feels Like Today- Rascal Flatts | ] |
Ok, this is the first entry to my series. I will try to write as often as I can in here. If I miss a day or so, don't worry, I am just having a "writers' block" kinda day. So bear with me. Oh and any ideas for a title would be appriciated. Thanks!
Part One
"And remember for next class to have Part 5 read in your text." I was so glad to be leaving that class, the teacher was a bitch to me. All I did was humiliate her in front of the entire class, I mean, come on. Have some maturity about yourself if you plan on challenging me to a "debate". I walked along as the snow fell in front of me. It seemed to never quit, every day for about a week now, snow. I was sick of seeing it and couldn't wait for warmer weather. I looked around trying to decide what it was I wanted to do. "Let's see. Do I want cafeteria food, or do I just want a smoothie." The thought plagued my mind until I felt a small buzz on my hip. It was Renee.
"Yeah hun?"
"Whatcha doing Nick?" she asked me. Renee had that tone of voice that could make you forget about any problem you were having and just make you feel absolutly spectacular. I told her that I was in the middle of a dilemma and needed her "expertice". "Well what is it?", she asked me. I took a deep breath and put on my best dramatic voice and said.
"I dunno where to eat!" I pretended to cry just to try and make her laugh. She paused for about three seconds after and invited me over to her place for chinese. Hell, how could I not go? So I rushed over to her room as fast as I could and walked in the door. She had some music on and was just sitting on the bed reading a book.
Renee wasn't like most women I dated in the past. She had something different about her. The way her hair fell, every last thing about her from the way she talked to the way she acted, all of it, it was so different to me. And that's what appealed to me, was that she wasn't like everyone else. We chilled on her bed for a while wating for the delivery to make its way to the dorm. I looked at her and couldn't help but smile. Then I decided was as good of a chance as any. I brushed her hair aside, put my hand on her cheek, and gave her a slow soft kiss on the lips. It was unlike anything else I could have experienced. It was so sweet, yet sensual at the same time. I could tell that things would get interesting as the months grew on. |
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